Cheer up Cub fans. We’re here for you.
You’ve been riding on a run-away train all season and it suddenly crashed. The ride is over. And fortunately for you, it didn’t last any longer.
History has taught you that the farther that run-away train travels, the harder it eventually crashes. What happened last week was inevitable. Ending this way was far less painful than in 2003 when you got so agonizingly close to the World Series.
This year, the run-away train really didn’t even crash. Being swept is more like parallel parking.
Throughout this ordeal, you’ve been categorizing us White Sox fans as a hate group. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Again, Cub fans. We’re here for you.
Seeing a playoff run end with a sweep is so anticlimactic after such a noble run. We empathize with you, for 10 short years ago we went through much the same thing.
As much as we try to forget, back in 2005 it ended so quickly.
Our team was just about ready to fall out of first when it won five games in a row during the final week of the season.
Then the White Sox swept the defending World Champions in the first round of the playoffs. We didn’t expect that to happen.
Then after one loss to the Angels, another four straight wins clinched that series in five games.
Then came the World Series and it was over before we knew it. Four straight White Sox wins and that was it.
So sad. Four wins and it was all over. No more games. No more anticipation. No more anxiety.
Just a lousy parade and a trophy which was carted all over the state.
So last Wednesday when your fun sadly came to an end, we were happy that you’d be spared that same pain we went through 10 short years ago.
Maybe this will cheer you up.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine this. Let’s say the Cubs had won and were still playing. You’d all be drawing attention to yourselves and your martyrdom and it would all be cute. And when you used the term Cubbies, you’d surpass cute and become cutesy.
You really don’t want that, do you?
And let’s further imagine that the Cubs would keep on winning and prolong those feelings of anxiety.
Speaking from experience, I wouldn’t want that for you.
And let’s just imagine the Cubs actually won the World Series. Then what?
That happened to us 10 short years ago and we’d hate to see you suffer from that huge letdown which follows. Like the day after Christmas.
As I see it, you Cub fans lead a happy life. According to legend, your team won a World Series 107 years ago in 1908. Remember that first pitch of the first playoff game? It was eerily thrown at 19:08 military time and the date was October 7 (10/7).
Thank goodness that was all just hocus-pocus, right?
And then there was that movie that boldly predicted far-fetched images of October 21, 2015, one being a Cub world championship.
Thank goodness that was all fiction, right?
I guess there were many other parallels which further contributed to the your hysteria.
I’m so sorry for you that it all got blown way out of proportion.
You Cub fans don’t really want to see a World Series championship in your lifetime.
The whole scenario is much like that of a dog chasing a car.
A dog chasing a car is having fun. But if the dog ever did catch the car, what, pray tell, would he do with it?
You don’t really want to face such an enigma, do you?
Now, then, please stop calling us haters. That’s not very nice, considering that we only want what is best for you.